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by samskia_writes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst and Romance, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Past Abuse, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:55:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23475817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samskia_writes/pseuds/samskia_writes
Summary: Sam Winchester x ReaderY/N has become much closer to the younger Winchester brother. But just as their relationship is beginning, Y/N is called back home for a family emergency.
Relationships: Sam Winchester & You, Sam Winchester/Original Male Character(s), Sam Winchester/You
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	1. Coward's Bacon

You sat in your room in the bunker and wondered how you'd ended up there. It had been a room you were supposed to stay in for just a few weeks, but it had been almost a year. You used to live with Charlie, but after she passed away her place felt too lonely without her warm smile and awful singing to fill the rooms. Sam and Dean suggested you stayed with them while you found your feet. One year later and you all knew you wouldn't be leaving any time soon.

At first, your room was pretty empty, with the classic double bed, desk and wardrobe layout. But slowly and surely, you'd made yourself a home in that room. The bedsheets had gone from guest-room-blue to the ones with the bunting pattern on that your Dad had given you when you first moved to America. The wardrobe used to be empty apart from your trusty jacket, but it grew to be filled with flannels and jeans and the one dress you kept from when you and Charlie would have your days out in the city- hunt free.

You heard voices from the kitchen and hallways, where Sam and Dean would no doubt be arguing over real bacon versus vegetarian bacon, or "coward's bacon", as Dean called it. Slipping your hoodie over your pjs, you headed towards the voices for some breakfast.

"Mornin'," you hummed, reaching for the kettle, "you guys settled on the bacon debarkle yet?"  
"It's not bacon!" Dean snapped.  
"Don't get him started..." Sam sighed, but you could tell he was enjoying the novelty of a brother's argument.  
"Sorry, lads. But I like both." you shrugged and poured your coffee, grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl.  
"Oh somebody's being healthy." Dean snarked.  
"Well someone's gotta look after me." You took a bite from the apple as you spoke, taking a seat next to Sam so you could read his laptop.  
"We look after you." Sam said, trying to sound hurt.  
"Doubt," you joked, leaning in more to read the article he had up, "this a case?"  
"Maybe, uh," Sam fumbled over his words, taking a glance at how close you were to him, "we think. Gonna check it out later."  
"Sure sounds fishy." you nodded, reading the headline. It read 'NUMBER OF MISSING TEENAGERS RISES FROM 4 TO 9 IN LESS THAN A WEEK'.  
"Yeah...it does." Sam nodded in agreement, his eyes flickering over your jawline. Dean coughed, making Sam recoil, but you barely noticed.  
"Uh, okay. I'll get packing." Sam said all flustered, making you giggle.  
"I uh, don't actually think I'll come on this one." Dean said, trying his best to sound a little tired.  
You shared a look of confusion with Sam. "How come?" You asked.  
"Not feeling it. I think I might be coming down with something."  
"Right..." You and Sam said at the same time, both in disbelief.  
"Yeah, I'm gonna hit the hay. Stay safe out there." Dean shot you a wink as he left the room and you realised what he was doing. He knew how close you and Sam had gotten to being in a relationship, especially after you ended up patching him up on the last hunt. Dean was scheming.  
"Cool, I'll go get dressed." You smiled, trying to sound like you weren't incredibly embarrassed.

You followed after Dean and hissed at him, "Dean!"  
"I know. You can thank me later."  
"Dean," You stood in front of his door and glared at him. "what are you doing?"  
"I'm just helping thing's speed along. The next time you two walk through those doors it'll be hand in hand." Dean grinned and you blushed.  
"I hate you." You snapped.  
"I know." He smirked, playfully shoving you out of the way so he could get into his room.

You let yourself smile when the door closed and, rather badly, held back a grin as you hurried to your room to pack your things.


	2. The Motel

"Dean was weird, right? Like, it's not just me?" Sam asked you, glancing at you briefly before turning his attention back towards the road.  
You felt a little strange sitting in shotgun.  
"Yeah. But then again, Dean's always been kinda weird." You mentioned, making Sam chuckle.  
"Yeah I guess you're right. Hey, here's the motel."  
The motel sign looked as dimly lit as any other and you had no doubts the rooms would be just as disappointing. As you grabbed your bags from the boot, you studied the flicker in the 'M' of Motel, as though it would go out any second.

You followed Sam into the reception area where a woman was busy typing away. "Evening," Sam smiled, "do you have any 2 beds available?"  
"Sorry honey we're almost full. There's one with a double, though." The woman didn't even look up from her screen as she spoke, the fuzz of the pixels reflecting in her glasses.  
You felt your cheeks heat up as Sam turned to silently ask whether that would be okay. In all honesty, you couldn't think of anything worse than sharing a bed with Sam.  
"I don't mind." You shrugged, trying to keep cool. It's no big deal. Just friends sharing a bed. It's for the job.  
"We can look for somewhere else if you'd be more comfortable?" Sam said gently. He was so caring and you couldn't help but wish he was a little more eager to share the room with you.  
"No it's fine. Honestly, I don't mind."

Sam swallowed and handed his card over to the receptionist, his heart beating fast. Y/N didn't seem to care, which made him disappointed. He'd hoped for a little more of a reaction.

The room was just as you'd expected. Peeling wallpaper accompanied that same dusty smell all motels shared. The bathroom door was ajar, revealing an off-white sink that had some questionable markings on it's tiling. "Well, it's not so bad." Sam said reassuringly as he placed his bag at the foot of the bed.  
"Yeah. I guess it's for the best that Dean didn't come. Three of us would be a bit of a squeeze." You huffed, making Sam smile.  
"Yeah that's true. I'm gonna take a shower."

Sam closed the bathroom door behind him and you perched on the edge of the bed, searching through your backpack for the phone charger. After plugging in your phone and nipping back to reception to get a few packets of crisps from the vending machine, you took off your shoes and sat cross legged on the bed, reading over the article for any obvious clues you might have missed. Your phone buzzed with a text from Dean: Id say let me know if u need ur ass saving but you've got ur knight in shining armour with u ;)  
You scoffed, but smiled nonetheless and replied with a quick 'ur unbelievable' before tossing your phone back on the bed sheets, turning your attention back to the article.

The bathroom door clicked open and out came Sam, his hair a damp mess. He had grey trackies and a long sleeved T-shirt on. You held back a look of awe and shot him a quick smile before reluctantly looking away.  
"Researching?" He asked.  
"Hardly," you admitted, closing the laptop shut, "you better have flushed."  
You cringed at your attempt to act cool and breezy before ducking into the bathroom with your bag.

After showering, you spent a good ten or so minutes checking you looked alright in your oversized T-shirt and leggings. But you soon scoffed at your school-girl behaviour and went back into the room.  
Sam was sat on the bed with his back against the headboard, his laptop on his lap. His kind smile found your gaze and you suddenly felt that school-girl embarrassment once more.  
"I uh," Sam snapped out of his daze, "found something...I think."  
"Yeah?" You stammered, crawling next to him and leaning over to read the page.

Sam tensed at how close you were and cleared his throat to try and compose himself.

There was another article, only this one had information on how the teenagers missing were all from the same street. "Interesting." You noted, your eyes narrowing as you filtered through the possibilities.  
"We can figure it out over breakfast." Sam made a strangely quick end to his point and closed his laptop. You suddenly realised how close you were to him and sat back, fumbling for your phone. It had an unread from Dean: i know B) .


	3. The Phone Call

You couldn't sleep being so close to Sam. You could feel the rise and fall of his breath lightly tug against the sheets, hear his gentle snores and feel his leg shift against yours. You tensed at the touch and shifted away, lying on your back and staring up at the ceiling. It's swirling textures gave you something to look at, but they quickly became tediuous. Your phone buzzed from the floor, making you jump a little at the sudden noise. It was your brother. With a quick glance to make sure Sam hadn't woken up, you snatched the phone and motel key, slipped on your trainers and went outside.

"He-" Before you'd even managed a hello, Collin started talking.  
"You need to come home, Y/N."  
You drew a breath in and attempted to keep your voice from panicking, "What's wrong?"  
"No..." His voice cracked and you heard a faint quick breath, "he's in hospital...in a coma."  
You felt the world slow to a halt and let your back rest against the cold harsh wall of the motel, sliding to the floor. "What happened?" You didn't know what else to say.  
"He was in a car accident. Y/N, they don't think he's gonna make it..." Collin sobbed and shook.  
You held back a cry and brought your spare hand to your mouth in shock. Just breath.  
"How-" You could barely get the words out to ask, "how long does he have?"  
"A week," Collin whispered faintly, "maybe days."  
"Oh God..."

You felt your body shake against the wall and rubbed your hand over your knee, trying desperately to bring your focus elsewhere. "Okay," your voice was shaking, but it had sincerity to it, "okay. I'll get back as soon as I can, okay? Tell him I'm coming."  
"Okay. Tell me when you're close."  
"I will, sweetheart."  
You pressed the hang-up button and let yourself sit on the floor. Your arms were covered in goosebumps and the breeze was sending chills along your spine, but you hardly noticed. You sat there for quite some time. A tense jaw, blinking away tears and just trying to breath.

But you had to get home, so you stumbled up from the floor and crept back inside. The alarm clock on the windowsill blinked '4am' at you tantanisingly. Sam was still asleep, having rolled over to his side. If it was any darker it would look like he was staring at you. You crept over to your bag and started packing your essentials, taking shakey pauses to catch your breaths. Just breath.

You began to shiver a little, aware how cold the nights were when there was no duvet cover to warm you. You heard Sam shift in the bed and froze, praying he was only moving in his sleep.

"Y/N?"


	4. I Have to Go

Sam's voice was hoarse when he said your name. You felt your breath hitch in your throat and had nothing to say that wouldn't mak yourself break down. Sam shifted in the bed, sitting upright and flicking the lamp on. "Hey, what's going on?"

You sat down on the floor, your back leaning against the side of the bed and looked up at him through teary eyes. "I have to go." You whispered.  
Sam blinked his tiredness away and gently knelt down next to you, his expression was heavy with concern, "What's wrong?"  
"I have to go home." You said, your voice breaking as you trailed off.  
"Has something happened?" He asked. He then placed a gentle and steady hand over yours and the other on your shoulder.  
"My brother," your breaths were uneven and your voice trembled, "he's in hospital. I have to go."

Sam's shoulders drooped in empathy and he curled his arms around your body, hugging you close to him. You rested your head on the dip between his chest and shoulder, "They don't think he'll even last a week."  
"I'm sorry..." Sam held you close, his breaths a steady beat for you to practice against and centre yourself with. You nodded meakly against him and wiped the tears from your eyes, "I'm gonna get on the next flight...sorry I can't finish the case."  
"Hey, no. Don't worry about that, okay?" Sam looked you in the eye, his expression caring and sincere, "I'll help you get home. You want me to come with you?"  
You were a little taken back at his offer, having not expected it. "Oh," you said in surprise, "you should, uhm...you should finish the case, Sam. I'll be okay."  
You sat back up and looked at your bag, trying to see if you could figure out whether it would be allowed through customs.

"Screw the case," Sam scoffed as though it was meaningless compared to your situation, "I don't want you on your own, Y/N."  
"Sam. People are dead. The case needs solving." You huffed, not meaning for it to come out so aggressively.  
Sam nodded slowly to himself, "I'll call Dean, then. Or Jody. But I'm not leaving you. When's the next flight?"

"I don't know..." You admitted, realising how insane this whole situation was.  
"Okay," Sam gave your hand a squeeze, "I'll look up flights. You should get some rest."  
You shot Sam a look, how in God's name did he expect you to catch up on sleep with all this going on? Sam looked a little sheepish and sighed, "You need anything?"  
You shook your head, leaning back on his shoulder and sighing. He pressed a kiss to your head and you thought how in any other situation you would have been over the moon for him to kiss your head. But you couldn't care less.

You stared at the wall as Sam typed away on his laptop. God knows where you'd be without him. You'd been texting back and forth with Collin and everything was the same so far. You were the eldest sibling and so had mostly spent the texts trying to reassure your brother, depsite your own state.  
"There's a flight midday. We could probably make it if we head out now?" Sam suggested.  
When he looked up he saw your deadpanned expression and softened his voice, "Y/N?"  
"Let's go then." You said, grabbing your things and throwing your jacket on.

Sam watched as you left the room and scrambled after you.


	5. Room B14

You raced through the Hospital walls, having been given the allclear by the visitor centre, and desperately searched for the right room. B14. B14. B14. Sam had gone to find a hotel room to put your stuff in and park the car, but you couldn't waste any time. He agreed to meet you there, but he was partly just trying to give you space. The flight had been almost unbearable. Trapped in that machine, unable to help, unable to even contact Collin and make sure things were okay.

You turned the corner and saw the right room. "B14" you said to yourself, halting in front of the door and you took in a deep breath to prepare yourself. "Col?" You said, peering round the door.

There was Collin, fast asleep in one of the chairs next to the bed. The bed. Isaac's body lay still , his chest barely moving as he breathed in and out. The heart moniter pulsed and you took slow steps towards your youngest brother. "Hey Isaac. It's me." You whispered, careful not to wake Collin.  
Isaac was attatched to so many machines and drips and moniters you struggled to accept that they were all that was keeping him alive. There were bandages around his leg and a cast keeping his neck in place. You perched on the side of the bed and took his hand. It was much warmer than you had expected. You gently ran your thumb over his, a tear rolling down your cheek, "It's okay, love. I'm here."

"Y/N!" Collin got up from his chair, his eyes were reddened and puffy.  
"Hey, Col." You smiled through teary eyes and gave Isaac's hand a squeeze before letting go so you could go to hug Collin. You shared an embrace, Collin's body shook in your hold and you held him close. "It's gonna be okay." You whispered reassuringly, but neither of you knew for sure what that meant in this case.

Your phone buzzed, the banner of Sam's text appearing. "Sam's here," you told Collin, "he came with me on the plane. But if you don't want him in here with us that's fine. Whatever you're comfortable with."  
"No, that's okay." Collin shook his head. He always gets apathetic when he's upset.  
"Alright." You said softly and replied to Sam.

"You want a coffee or anything?" Collin asked and you noticed his gaze was avoiding Isaac completely. You felt as though he was begging for a reason to leave the room and gave him a tight smile, "Yeah, thanks."

When Collin left the room you pulled up the empty chair next to where Isaac lay and took his hand back in yours. "I love you so much, Isaac. We both do. And we're so proud of you," your voice trembled as you held your sobs back, "and you can let go. It's okay. We just don't want you to be in pain anymore, sweetheart."  
You composed yourself, wiping the tears away with the edges of your fraying sleeves and watched his heart moniter as though it would stop beeping if you looked away.

A soft knock came at the door and Sam entered, throwing you a sympathetic head tilt. You smiled weakly, "Hey."  
"How you holding up?" He asked, walking so he was stood over you and putting his hands on your shoulders caringly.  
"He hated yellow." You said, ignoring Sam's question. The rooms walls were a pale yellow. Sam noticed what you meant and gave a halfhearted chuckle.


	6. Family

“I got you some coffee.” Collin’s voice sounded and you glanced over to see your brother holding three cups. Bless that boy. You stood up and went over to him to help with the door.  
“Thanks, Col,” you took two from his grip and handed Sam one, “this is Sam. Sam this is Collin.”  
“Hey.” Sam said, his voice wavering as you were all aware the situation was a strange one to be acquianted in.  
“Hey. Nice to finally meet you, even if it is…well…like this.”  
“Thanks. Yeah, you too. I’m really sorry you’re having to go through this.” Sam always knew what to say.  
“Thanks.” Collin put his coffee down on the small table next to the IV drip and something told you he wouldn’t be picking it back up. The coffee would grow cold and be thrown away. The coffee wasn’t bought to be drunk.

You all sat in the hospital room. No one wanted to speak. No one even knew what to say if they did want to speak. The heart moniter was sendning you insane with every bleep it sounded. Every pause between felt longer and you kept thinking it was the last one. Sam had stayed with you, not that you asked him to, but you knew he’d leave if you wanted. You knew he’d stay as well. You knew he’d do anything to make sure you were okay.

There something in the air. A question. One Collin been thinking about asking you for almost an hour. You knew exactly what it was. You’d get angry if he asked, but he had to ask.  
“Y/N?” His voice broke the echoed beeps of the machinery.  
“Yeah?” You took in a deep breath, and dragged your finger nails along your forearm.  
“Should we tell Mum?”  
The word ‘Mum’ circled you and you felt guilty for wanting to say no. You sat for a minute, thinking your answer through carefully.  
“She has to know, I guess.”  
“Yeah, but. Should we tell her before…you know…?”  
You blinked away tears and ran a hand through your hair, “I don’t know, Col. It’s your choice.”  
“Why? Why’s it my choice?” Collin’s voice had become louder and you felt the eggshells you were walking on begin to tremble.  
“Well I can’t tell her, can I?” You remarked.  
Collin held back his point and looked at you. He’d never known you to snap at him. You’d always been so patient and calm. You’d always been the one to keep your cool when him and Isaac were at their breaking points. His expression said enough and he softened his gaze.  
“Y/N…” He sighed, but whatever he was planning on adding lost all meaning as one of the machines began flashing out of sync. It’s pulse lost all rhythm, mocking the mortality of humans.

You all lept up in fright and hurried over to him. Collin called for the Doctor and suddenly the room was filled with hospital staff. The heart moniter pulsed like it hadn’t before: unsteady, desperate.The world around you slowed to a muffled limbo between one with and one without your youngest brother. 

\---------------------------  
Collin stepped back next to you and looked up to you as though you had something to say to make it all better. The heart moniter slowed to a single continuous tone and you all knew it was the end. You put an arm around your brother and held him close. Collin cried into your embrace and you rested your head on his, clutching him to you.

You watched as the doctors stepped back from the hospital bed, admitting defeat. They parted ways to reveal Isaac’s body laying still and lifeless.

—- —- —- —- —- —- —- —-

You sat on the bed of the hotel room, looking over to Sam’s bed. Sam was outside talking to Dean on the phone. The funeral was that morning and you’d barely moved after. You’d given him a proper Hunter’s goodbye, with just you and Collin. He’d gone to go and tell your Mum about Isaac. You felt bad for him, as he and Isaac never really knew your Mum the same way you knew her. Sam had kept quiet about the situation, but you could tell he was curious about it, as though he was waiting for the right time to ask. It was strange. Everything was practically back to normal. But you felt like you were lagging behind, waiting for Isaac to catch up with you.

It was also strange being back in your home country. You hadn’t had a chance to take it all in. In many ways it felt as though you were still in Kansas. The night-air was beginning to set, so you took a quick shower and changed into the same T-shirt and leggings. The only clothes you really had on you other than a few pairs of jeans and shirts. When you came out of the bathroom, Sam was sat on his bed, already changed into his pijamas. He shot you that soft smile he had and you instantly felt safe.

“How you doing, bug?” He asked gently, scooching over as a silent invitation for you to join him.  
You crept over and sat down next to him, “Better.”  
“Come here.” He wrapped you in a hug and stroked your hair gently, letting you collapse into his arms. These past few days were the closest you’d been, and yet it felt so normal. As awful as it was, you’d enjoyed the excuse for the close comfort.

“I’m gonna grab some food,” Sam spoke up after a few minutes, “you want anything? Even something small?”  
You had barely eaten anything for the past few days so something told you he wouldn’t take no for an answer. Reluctantly, you sighed and said, “Yeah just something small, thanks.”  
“Alright, I’ll be right back.” He pressed a kiss to your temple and squeezed your shoulder before heading out.

You watched him go and as the door clicked shut you felt the room become smaller and emptier. Thankfully, your phone began to ring. Dean’s caller ID showed and you smiled to yourself before answering.  
“Hey, De.”  
“Hey, kiddo,” Dean’s tone was washed out as he spoke, “I’m sorry about your brother.”  
“Yeah…I’ll be okay, though.” You tried to reassure him.  
“I know you will.”  
“How did the hunt go?”  
“Pretty easy. Was just a small werewolf pack.”  
“Just? You quoted, feeling your voice rise in amusement. Instantly, guilt flooded your system and you forced yourself to be serious.  
"Yeah well, you know me. I kick ass.”  
“Yeah.”  
There was a short pause before Dean added, “How’s Sammy been treating you?”  
“You’ve got a saint of a brother, Dean Winchester.” You admitted, smiling inspite of yourself.  
“Yeah. He’s alright,” You could hear Dean’s smile through his voice, “and he really cares about you.”  
“Oh and you don’t?” You retorted. You were enjoying the novelty of your mini arguments with the eldest Winchester. It felt homely.  
“You know I care about you, Y/N…but not like Sam does.”


	7. You'll be Okay

Sam’s footsteps sounded, the door slowy opened and in came Sam with some snacks and things to keep you going. He placed them next to you on the bed and then sat back down beside you. You noted how close he sat to you, thankful for the comfort.

“Thanks, Sammy.” You breathed, taking a pack of cookies. You started picking at one, not looking up from yor hands.  
Sam started typing away as usual, no doubt researching.  
“Dean called.” You mentioned, trying to find something to talk about that wasn’t the obvious.  
“Yeah?”  
“Yeah he just wanted to see if I was okay. He asked when we were coming back…”  
Sam nodded, realising he had no idea, “what did you say?”  
“Just said soon. Can’t say I really planned this.” You chuckled, but your tone was bland.  
“Yeah, okay. Well, there’s no rush, okay?”  
You nodded, but you felt like you had to leave soon. Partly for Sam’s sake, this wasn’t exactly fair on him, but partly for Dean’s sake too. You missed Dean and the bunker. You missed home.

Sam took your hand and placed another under your chin, gently moving your gaze to his. He could tell your thoughts were racing.  
“Whenever you’re ready, Y/N. Okay?”  
You looked at him, his eyes were warm and he had a look that said he really meant what he’d said. You took his hands in yours and nodded, smiling up at him through glassy eyes. “Okay. Thanks, Sam.”

Your phone buzzed, a message from Collin: Call me when you get this. You sighed and rang your brother, sitting a little further away from Sam as to not seem too rude.  
“Everything okay?” You asked when he picked up.  
“Yeah, but I wanted to give you a heads up.”  
“For what?”  
“I told Mum.”  
“Oh…” Your gaze flickered across the room as though some sort of object could ground you.  
“She’s uh, pretty mad we didn’t tell her.”  
“Well he…he was her kid…” you caught eyes with Sam for a moment, who was frowning a little, after all, he could only hear your side of the conversation.  
“Hardly,” Collin admitted and, for the first time, you realised that Collin wasn’t as fond of your Mum as you thought, “but yeah. I think she might try and call you.”  
You pressed a finger nail into your thumb and nodded slowly to yourself, “Okay, well, I probably won’t be picking up.”  
“Yeah, maybe that’s for the best.”  
“Actually I don’t think she even has my new number.”  
“Oh, well. Some landfill site is going to get an earfull.” Collin joked.

There was a pause.

“Hey, Col?”  
“Yeah?”  
“You’ll be okay, right? When I go back.”  
There was another pause that felt like an age. When he answered, voice was honest, “yeah. Yeah I’ll be okay.”  
“I won’t go if you want me to stay. I don’t mind-”  
“No, Y/N. You’ve got a life in America. And I’ve got one here. I have good friends. I’ll be just fine.”  
“You better be.” You smiled slightly.  
“When do you think you’ll go back?” Collin asked.  
“Not sure. I only really have you to worry about, so-”  
“So go.” Collin said. You stopped in shock.  
“Already?” You huffed.  
“Yeah. Y/N, I love you being here, but like I said you’ve got a whole life back in Kansas.”  
“I guess you’re right.”  
“And one thing’s for sure.”  
You tilted your head curiously, “What’s that?”  
“You and Sam.”  
“Hm?” You felt your cheeks blush and your eyes flickered over to Sam, who was staring at his laptop. Thank God you weren’t on loudspeaker.  
“Come on, Y/N. The man followed you all this way just so you wouldn’t be alone.I think- I think he might like-like you.”  
You chuckled despite everything and Sam smiled at the sound, feeling a wave of a relief wash over him as he saw the corners of your mouth curl.  
“You’re unbelievable.” You sighed, but your smile came through in your tone.  
“Isaac would’ve asked him out for you by now.” Collin chuckled and you smirked at the thought. He was right. But there was a part of you that couldn’t help but feel pangs of guilt whenever you smiled or let yourself laugh, even if it was just a light chuckle.


	8. Be Honest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: suicide, abuse and mental health speak

You and Sam stepped off the plane and into the bustle of the airport. After making your way through all the various processes they had, you finally reached the exit. You’d been far too busy in your thoughts to notice, but you’d barely said a word the entire flight. It wasn’t an uncomfortale silence, but Sam had been worrying about you the whole journey, stealing glances at you in the next seat over.

“Hey, uh, Y/N?” Sam piped up.  
“Mmm?” You hummed, not bothering to look up from where you’d been picking at your fingernails.  
“Can I ask what the situation with your Mom is? I know- I mean- I don’t want to-”  
You smiled and then started to chuckle. Not only was Sam’s flustered state incredibly cute, but it was such a relief for him to finally ask.  
“What?” Sam frowned.  
You continued walking along to where you’d parked the car.  
“How long have you been holding back on asking that?”  
Sam smirked, “was it that obvious?”  
“That you were curious to know? Yeah, pretty obvious.” You teased and he chuckled.  
The laughter died down and you realised you had to answer the question. “Uh, okay-”  
“You don’t have to say if you’re not comfortable, you know.” Sam said, but it only made you want to tell him more.  
“No it’s okay.”

The two of you approached the car and placed your stuff in the back. You collapsed into the front seat, taking in that warm car-smell that was strangely comforting. Sam started up in silence, patiently waiting for you to start speaking.  
You began fiddling with your jumper’s sleeves and told Sam everything.

“Mum didn’t want to be pregnant when she had me and she uh, well, she told the Dad but he didn’t want to have anything to do with me. So she just kinda always hated me. She was never abusive…not physically…but she just looked to pick a fight, you know? Only really kept me around because I was useful for hunting,” you took a long pause, “and then she had Collin. Who was planned. Then she had Isaac with the same guy. He was my step-Dad, and he was pretty nice, but he passed away on a Hunt and so my Mum looked for someone to blame. So she got a lot worse. And I got a lot worse. And she started drinking and I basically had to raise my brothers on my own.”  
Sam kept his eyes on the road, but you could tell you had his full attention and sympathy. He nodded slowly and you continued.  
“I got really bad…and uh, well I won’t go into details, but I basically attempted suicide,” you waited to see if Sam would say anything, but he kept quiet, “and then I woke up to an empty hospital room.”  
Sam thought of how desperate you were to make sure Isaac and Collin weren’t alone. He understood how hard you knew it was to wake up to no one.  
“A few hours later Mum came by with a bag of my stuff and-” you paused, scared to say the words she’d told you all those years ago, “she said ’don’t come home’. And that’s when I ended up moving here. Just starting again.”  
You hadn’t noticed, but Sam had slowed to park on the side of the road.  
“I stayed in contact with my brothers and I even visited them sometimes. But not enough…and I fucking hate myself for not seeing them more…”

You trailed off and sunk into the seat.  
Sam parked the car and put a hand on your knee gently, “Y/N?”

You looked up at him, realising he’d turned his full attention to you.  
“You shouldn’t hate yourself. You’re an incredible sister and an incredible woman. And you deserve so much more.”  
You let out a puff of air, smiling through teary eyes, “I just wish I could have been there before-”  
“I know, sweetheart. Come here.” Sam pulled you into his chest, letting you rest against him. He was sturdy and safety, but he was gentle too. The tenderness of his arms around your frame, the soft touch of his palm holding you close. You never thought you’d really tell anyone other than Charlie about how you’d got to where you were. But it felt good. It felt comforting to know that someone knew. And Sam did more than that, he understood. That man had so much empathy to give and to feel. He understood you.


End file.
